In Which I am Accused of Child Abuse

Michael/Zaram have settled into a funny routine. I don’t think funny is the word should be using, annoying more of. They just stare at computer games and play level after level and forget the world around them.

You call and call and they either can’t hear you or pretend they can’t. Zaram has been on my case. He wants a touchscreen phone (Like seriously, he wants me to support this addiction?)

Anyway, on this day they are engrossed in one one of those games and I ask them to come and eat. Everyone one leaves except Michael. Eventually he steps out of their room and comes to me.

‘Do you know you have been committing child abuse?’

‘What?!’ I asked totally not understanding him.

‘Child abuse’, he repeats.

‘How?’ I asked a little more calmly.

‘How can you be forcing someone to eat, don’t you know that is child abuse?’

I looked at him wondering what to do with him. Any ideas?


One of those days I was half listening because I was doing a million other things and Dave kept bugging me with questions about Jupiter and the moon. I kept saying “I don’t know” to each question and then he asks (In retrospect this was actually to check if I’ve been listening) what a lunar eclipse is. I responded like a broken record: I don’t know.

He goes quiet for a bit and then says: but we read the other day “ask and you shall be given”. I smiled because I felt I have a hip intelligent answer up my sleeve.
“That was Jesus speaking, not me”, I said.
“But you said to follow Jesus example all the time. Do you want to change your mind now?”

I can never win with these boys can I?



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