Month: May 2017

In Which We Talk About Winning 

One of the fun parts of parenting is seeing aspects of your life so manifest in your children. Often times when the kids take certain actions, I remember when I was younger and how I did or would have done the very same thing. It helps with remaining grounded and sometimes with not being so hard on them. I mean, I did worse things but look at me now 😐

Talking about looking at me, I had to look in the mirror recently and I saw a part of me I didn’t really like and so I am pushing my kids not to be that. I remember how many times I thought maybe I should have entered a competition but never did. I am so afraid of losing that I don’t compete at all. So when this opportunity came up to review a book that one of the kids had read, we all rallied around him and cheered him on into entering.

Rallying round someone is such a psyche boost. It makes the person feel like a winner already. Rallying around a person should include words of affirmation – You can do it! But it may also include sitting with them, opening a laptop and asking them to hit send😎

Everyone who enters a competition wants to win. But winning means different things to each of us. Mostly it means being recognized for being good at something we love doing. One of the boys wants to be a writer, he also wants to be a chef, the other two are more inclined towards the arts. One creates characters and the other does abstract art. Somehow I how they will be alright but I digress.

So he wanted to win this competition and after we hit send we got an invite as one of the shortlisted ones. Then it became, “will I come first”. I remember I had an obsession with coming first in class, I dreamt every day of beating this girl Eunice and eventually, she physically moved away and I got the position. It wasn’t as good as beating her, still…

I just knew this was me years ago and if there is one thing I have learned, you can be a big fish in a small pond but never allow yourself to believe you’re the biggest fish ever because of the size of your pond. A bigger fish may be let in, or the pond may empty out into a sea full of sharks…or worse. Time and chance is also a critical factor. My son needed to learn that lesson.

So he did win…

He didn’t win what he wanted. But he won something which in itself was more of a lesson than I could have taught in any sermon 😃

Now, I have also learned my own lesson. Off to enter that competition with entries ending in July…
P.s I have taken to taking the boys out with me sometimes when I’m meeting clients, friends and simply running errands. We see and talk about lots of things and it gives me an opportunity to find out how they think and if they do. One of the boys has been so concerned about beggers having so many kids. I am seeing the conciousness awakening in them of societal inequalities, them wanting to fight the cause for the poor.

“Why didn’t you give that beggar money?” One of them queried recently. “You have change in your bag.”

Me: 😑

We will all eventually learn…


In which there is a New Love Interest 

So starting from this post I shall no longer be stating categorically which of the three boys what happened to. I have been made to swear to the bro code of “never kiss and tell” or see and tell or something along that line that if I am going to keep talking about the boys. One of them has joined social media and some of the things I post here may damage his “street cred”.😐

Now on to today’s post…

I have never really given that much thought to young love. I know it exists, I mean, I was young once. I had crushes and sometimes dreamed of riding off into the sunset with Prince Charming…But I never actually wanted any boy to touch me😒

So it struck me as slightly scandalous that a girl would meet my son, like him and begin to call and text him nonstop and wanting to be more than just friends😱 I didn’t expect things would happen this fast, I’m not ready for this stage of parenthood…

So how do we resolve this issue? My kids still believe I’m the cool mum, I bet that is why I get a blow by blow account of what’s going on in their lives, seriously nothing is off the table. One of them just started growing penis hair. Yeah, he showed me 😄…and I want to remain the cool mum…

But right now, I have a good mind to call the girl and ask her to stop bugging my son😤. But more important, it tells me that the boys have entered a new vista in their lives and my parenting methods need to adjust. I can’t get away with the few, ‘because I said so’s that I could pull out. Every No is followed by a why and then a why not. So what next?
So we had the talk again about texting and friendship with the opposite sex and setting limits such as not texting too regularly and not texting until too late at night. We have also talked about not using expressions of endearment such as bae, babe, sweetheart, dear, love on girls cos it makes them feel special when all you actually want is an open friendship. I must admit, it was easier talking about this stuff when they were younger…😑

Anyone parenting teens out there? How would you deal with this?

P.s. He likes the girl and knows they can’t be more than friends. He has told her as much. Whether she has heard is a different matter entirely…

Just for laughs😂

I overheard this conversation between Michael and Zaram

Zaram: Why have you not removed your school uniform?

Michael: Because I’m still wearing it!

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