One of the fun parts of parenting is seeing aspects of your life so manifest in your children. Often times when the kids take certain actions, I remember when I was younger and how I did or would have done the very same thing. It helps with remaining grounded and sometimes with not being so hard on them. I mean, I did worse things but look at me now 😐
Talking about looking at me, I had to look in the mirror recently and I saw a part of me I didn’t really like and so I am pushing my kids not to be that. I remember how many times I thought maybe I should have entered a competition but never did. I am so afraid of losing that I don’t compete at all. So when this opportunity came up to review a book that one of the kids had read, we all rallied around him and cheered him on into entering.
Rallying round someone is such a psyche boost. It makes the person feel like a winner already. Rallying around a person should include words of affirmation – You can do it! But it may also include sitting with them, opening a laptop and asking them to hit send😎
Everyone who enters a competition wants to win. But winning means different things to each of us. Mostly it means being recognized for being good at something we love doing. One of the boys wants to be a writer, he also wants to be a chef, the other two are more inclined towards the arts. One creates characters and the other does abstract art. Somehow I how they will be alright but I digress.
So he wanted to win this competition and after we hit send we got an invite as one of the shortlisted ones. Then it became, “will I come first”. I remember I had an obsession with coming first in class, I dreamt every day of beating this girl Eunice and eventually, she physically moved away and I got the position. It wasn’t as good as beating her, still…
I just knew this was me years ago and if there is one thing I have learned, you can be a big fish in a small pond but never allow yourself to believe you’re the biggest fish ever because of the size of your pond. A bigger fish may be let in, or the pond may empty out into a sea full of sharks…or worse. Time and chance is also a critical factor. My son needed to learn that lesson.
So he did win…
He didn’t win what he wanted. But he won something which in itself was more of a lesson than I could have taught in any sermon 😃
Now, I have also learned my own lesson. Off to enter that competition with entries ending in July…
P.s I have taken to taking the boys out with me sometimes when I’m meeting clients, friends and simply running errands. We see and talk about lots of things and it gives me an opportunity to find out how they think and if they do. One of the boys has been so concerned about beggers having so many kids. I am seeing the conciousness awakening in them of societal inequalities, them wanting to fight the cause for the poor.
“Why didn’t you give that beggar money?” One of them queried recently. “You have change in your bag.”
Me: 😑
We will all eventually learn…